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Name: Alice


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Wednesday, December 10, 2008

Deadness

I haven't written in a while... mostly because I've just been busy. Finals season is now and it's been a bit of a beast with a final a day every day this week. I have a couple more left and I'm itching to be done with them.

School-wise, it's been a relatively good first semester. I definitely could/should have studied more, but that time was well spent getting to know people more from church (and school to a lesser degree).

People-wise, it's been... instructive to say the least. As the initial excitement from the move has waned, my inadequacies and struggles have come to bright light as I've met new people and been forced to be more introspective. Whether with Naj or Ann or Herie, I've had recent conversations about this growing sense of imminent cynicism about life, relationships, work, etc. As we get older... we see more... I experience more interactions with people that appear uncouth and unkosher... and already, there is the temptation to grow deaden to shut it all out and stay functional.

But then, there's the matter of Jesus... sweet, old Jesus who just never seems to fully go away. And the matter of the dirty, beaten Cross... and I'm reminded of why we persevere and why we hope and why we are called to live with toughened skin but softened hearts - because He lives and because He's forgiven and because He reigns.

As winter break approaches, I'm super excited to see my family. My brother finished taking the LSAT this past weekend, and him being the superstar he is, I'm hoping he will buy me lunch to celebrate that... :P Hehe. Mmm, that's about it for now.

Pictures from my first semester of clinical:




Picture from Thanksgiving weekend when Herie, Gene, Eric, and Liz came to VA:

Lastly, I get to see Judy, Stank, and Eric this weekend! Hehe.

Currently
Come on Get Higher (Cd Single w/ Acoustic Track)
see related


Friday, October 31, 2008

NYC :)

I'm headed to NYC tomorrow to see Naj and Susie. :) I'm very excited... especially because I know they made reservations somewhere probably really good (knowing the two of them). In other news, I decided to only apply for the MSN... so I'll be in Baltimore for 3 years! :)

Can't wait until I'm in NYC eating delicious foods... and seeing friends. :)


Friday, October 24, 2008

More School

To continue on from my last post, I've decided to apply for the BSN-MSN-PhD program here at the nursing school. My trepidation and hesitancy about it has mostly been replaced with excitement and curiousity. I had my meeting with an admission officer and next up are meetings with the dean of the doctoral program and current doctoral students. Please pray that I proceed with clarity. Luckily, there's a lot of time before I would need to worry about a specific research focus, but I'm definitely searching because I like knowing what I'm working towards; right now, I'm thinking substance abuse. The other unclear issue is whether to go directly into the PhD program or get the MSN along the way (the MSN would allow me to practice as a nurse practitioner).

Otherwise, life is good. I haven't had as much time to play or talk with people during the week, but church is great as well as church friends and classmates. Work is fine and my new home has been perfectly suitable.

Thanks to everyone who IMs, emails, or calls with encouragement. I miss CA for the people at times, but I'm also so certain that Baltimore/Hopkins is where I'm suppose to be right now. I continue to love it here and am learning so many exciting things about nursing and the city every week.

Much love. <3


Wednesday, October 15, 2008

General Update

I'm planning to stay up all night going to sg and doing hw/studying, and yet, I'm Xanga-ing, of course.

I guess I have a few updates:

- Susie came by for the long weekend and we had a great time. :) She met most of my Baltimore church friends and we ate some good food. On Saturday, I dragged her with me to this health fair in Columbia, MD, which was kind of geared toward Asian-Americans. Naturally, she impressed the socks off of me. I was telling someone about how women should get yearly mammograms after the age of 35 (I guessed), and Susie corrected me because the correct "starting age" is 40 as she had just read from our table's pamphlets. I loved watching her in action and was naturally amazed at how she was a completely competent educator on breast/cervical cancer for the purposes of the fair despite not being a clinician. We also got to hear Former Secretary of Transportation, Norman Mineta, talk which was a genuine pleasure.

- Ted comes again this weekend... I think we are both going to end up studying for most of it. :(

- I have a prayer request. Hopkins allows its students to apply for other programs in advance. I'm meeting with an academic advisor on Monday to go over information regarding the Master and Ph.D. programs. As usual, I have some reservations about making long-term commitments, but I've also seen how faculty have used their advanced degrees to tangibly improve patient outcomes and facilitate institutional procedures at  places like the Hopkins Medical Center. Please pray that I move forward with clarity and in prayer rather than my own thoughts of what's "best."

For people who skip over all my text, here are pictures:


A new picture with Susie. :)


An old picture that I just got from Jess... everyone looking normal...


... and less. For people from KCPC, they are imitating Jess if you can't tell.


Thursday, October 09, 2008

Fainting and Being a Wuss

Even besides the increased studying that's been happening this week, it's been pretty eventful. I listened to a student yell at a professor across the length of an entire lecture hall and two of my housemates moved out for good, which leaves only two of us in the house now.

The winning moment of the week though had to be when I fainted at my clinical placement for school. We rotate through hospitals and I was lucky enough to get the rare chance to observe a knee replacement. The cutting, sawing, and bleeding were actually all fine; while watching the surgery, I was so filled with adrenaline and I was thinking excitedly about how maybe surgical nursing is my calling. For the prosthetic pieces to be inserted into the patient, a cement had to be mixed. As soon as the mixture was made, the smell hit me and I got instantly nauseated. I had to excuse myself from the surgery room, and once I got into the semi-sterile area directly outside, the nausea and dizziness got worse and I ended up sliding down to the floor.

Luckily, a couple of nurses found me and carried me to the nurses' lounge where a bunch of them brought me back. It was easily the physically worst that I've ever felt in my life and I have little recollection of what happened from when I slid down to when I sobered up again in the nurses' lounge. The icing on the cake is that it turns out that when a person faints... certain bodily functions just kind of happen since your body goes limp and generally "lets go." Supposedly - while out - I basically farted in front of everyone. During my clinical lecture time, I shared this story as proof that certain biological things happen when someone (i.e. a future patient) faints. People got a hoot from the flatulence and it seems that it has become my claim to fame for at least the 60 people who heard me share the story.

Truthfully, it really wasn't the flatulence that embarrassed me (it's biological and I was passed out!), but the fact that I fainted at all. Going into and during the surgery, I was so excited and so sure that I would not be one of those weaklings who can't handle observing a basic surgery. God humbles though, and in the end, it brought a bunch of people together in laughter whether it be the nurses who helped me, my clinical rotational team who just hugged me in sympathy afterwards, or the 60 people who probably see me as the girl with the fart story.

Nursing school has overall been amazing and I enjoy it. Sometimes, my thoughts wander ahead and I think... should I go into research? become a nursing professor or teacher? a nurse practitioner? stay a basic bedside nurse? look into nursing administration? But at times like these, I have to remember that God already knows my future steps and I'm just called to faithfully obey Him. It gives me a lot of peace and helps me enjoy the now.



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